Freebsd Fortunes 5

Personifiers of the world, unite!
You have nothing to lose but Mr. Dignity!
                -- Bernadette Bosky

Personifiers Unite!  You have nothing to lose but Mr. Dignity!

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted;
persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting
to find a plot in it will be shot.  By Order of the Author
                -- Mark Twain, "Tom Sawyer"

pessimist:
        A man who spends all his time worrying about how he can keep the
        wolf from the door.

optimist:
        A man who refuses to see the wolf until he seizes the seat of
        his pants.

opportunist:
        A man who invites the wolf in and appears the next day in a fur coat.

Pete:   Waiter, this meat is bad.
Waiter: Who told you?
Pete:   A little swallow.

Peter's hungry, time to eat lunch.

Peter's Law of Substitution:
        Look after the molehills, and the
        mountains will look after themselves.

Peter's Principle of Success:
        Get up one time more than you're knocked down.

Peter's Principle:
        In every hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to the level of
        his incompetence.

Peterson's Admonition:
        When you think you're going down for the third time --
        just remember that you may have counted wrong.

Peterson's Rules:
        (1) Trucks that overturn on freeways
                are filled with something sticky.
        (2) No cute baby in a carriage is ever a girl when called one.
        (3) Things that tick are not always clocks.
        (4) Suicide only works when you're bluffing.

petribar:
        Any sun-bleached prehistoric candy that has been sitting in
        the window of a vending machine too long.
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"