Freebsd Fortunes 5

Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.

Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's Chem Eng. 130
midterm.  Once again a student did not receive a single point on his exam.
Newell has now tossed 5 shutouts this quarter.  Newell's earned exam average
has now dropped to a phenomenal 30

.

PROGRAM:
        Any task that can't be completed in one telephone call or one
        day.  Once a task is defined as a program ("training program,"
        "sales program," or "marketing program"), its implementation
        always justifies hiring at least three more people.

program, n:
        A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input
        into error messages.  tr.v. To engage in a pastime similar to banging
        one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward.

Programmers do it bit by bit.

Programmers used to batch environments may find it hard to live
without giant listings; we would find it hard to use them.
                -- D.M. Ritchie

Programming Department:
        Mistakes made while you wait.

Programming is an unnatural act.

PROGRESS:
        Medieval man thought disease was caused by invisible demons
        invading the body and taking possession of it.

        Modern man knows disease is caused by microscopic bacteria
        and viruses invading the body and causing it to malfunction.