|Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1561 of 2298|
Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a
A: Seven. Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in
the Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send
Bones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he'll immediately claim
that he's a doctor, not an electrician). Scotty, after checking
around, realizes that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains
that he "canna" see in the dark. Kirk will make an emergency stop at
the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb
from the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something.
Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirt security officers
beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promply
killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.
As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand,
Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must
warp out of orbit. Although badly outgunned, he cripples the Klingon
and races back to the planet in order to rescue Kirk et. al. who have
just saved the natives' from an awful fate and, as a reward, been
given all lightbulbs they can carry. The new bulb is then inserted
and the Enterprise continues on its five year mission.
|Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1562 of 2298|
Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light
A: Three. One to do it, one to watch, and the third to shoot the
|Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1563 of 2298|
Q: How many pre-med's does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder
out from under him.
|Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1564 of 2298|
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has
to really want to change.
|Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1565 of 2298|
Q: "How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "Twelve; one to screw the light-bulb in, and eleven to self-destruct
the ship out of disgrace."
[Warning: do not tell this joke to Romulans or else be ready for
a fight. They consider this it to be a discrace, though it's
pretty good for a LBJ. Ed.]
|Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1566 of 2298|
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub
with brightly colored machine tools.
[Surrealist jokes just aren't my cup of fur. Ed.]
|Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1567 of 2298|
Q: How many WASP's does it take to change a lightbulb?
|Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1568 of 2298|
Q: How much does it cost to ride the Unibus?
A: 2 bits.
|Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1569 of 2298|
Q: How was Thomas J. Watson buried?
A: 9 edge down.
|Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1570 of 2298|
Q: Know what the difference between your latest project
and putting wings on an elephant is?
A: Who knows? The elephant *might* fly, heh, heh...