Freebsd Fortunes 5

Real Programmers don't eat quiche.  They eat Twinkies and Szechwan food.

Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires
you to change clothes.  Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers
wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly
spring up in the middle of the machine room.

Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN.
FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.

Real Programmers don't write in PL/I.  PL/I is for
programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.

Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.

Real programs don't eat cache.

Real Programs don't use shared text.  Otherwise, how can they
use functions for scratch space after they are finished calling them?

Real wealth can only increase.
                -- R. Buckminster Fuller

Real World, The n.:
        1. In programming, those institutions at which programming may be
used in the same sentence as FORTRAN, COBOL, RPG, IBM, etc.  2. To
programmers, the location of non-programmers and activities not related to
programming.  3. A universe in which the standard dress is shirt and tie
and in which a person's working hours are defined as 9 to 5.  4.  The location
of the status quo.  5. Anywhere outside a university.  "Poor fellow, he's
left MIT and gone into T.R.W."  Used pejoratively by those not in residence
there.  In conversation, talking of someone who has entered the real world
is not unlike talking about a deceased person.

Reality -- what a concept!
                -- Robin Williams