Freebsd Fortunes 5

Reporter:
        A writer who guesses his way to the truth
        and dispels it with a tempest of words.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Reporter:   "How did you like school when you were growing up, Yogi?"
Yogi Berra: "Closed."

Reporter:   "What would you do if you found a million dollars?"
Yogi Berra: "If the guy was poor, I would give it back."

Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi):
                Mr. Gandhi, what do you think of Western Civilization?
Gandhi:         I think it would be a good idea.

Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians and eyebrows.
Democrats raise Airedales, kids and taxes.

Democrats eat the fish they catch.
Republicans hang them on the wall.

Republican boys date Democratic girls.  They plan to marry
Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.

Democrats make up plans and then do something else.
Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.

Republicans sleep in twin beds -- some even in separate rooms.
That is why there are more Democrats.
                -- Paul Dickson, "The Official Rules"

Reputation, adj:
        What others are not thinking about you.

Research is the best place to be: you work your buns off, and if it works
you're a hero; if it doesn't, well -- nobody else has done it yet either,
so you're still a valiant nerd.

Research is to see what everybody else has seen,
and think what nobody else has thought.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
                -- Wernher von Braun

Research, n:
        Consider Columbus:
        He didn't know where he was going.
        When he got there he didn't know where he was.
        When he got back he didn't know where he had been.
        And he did it all on someone else's money.