Freebsd Fortunes 5

SADISM:
        A sadist refusing to whip a masochist.

sadoequinecrophilia, n:
        Beating a dead horse.

Safety Third.

Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence
        Tip #1: How to tell when you are dead.

        1. Little things start bothering you:  little things like worms,
                bugs, ants.
        2. Something is missing in your personal relationships.
        3. Your dog becomes overly affectionate.
        4. You have a hard time getting a waiter.
        5. Exotic birds flock around you.
        6. People ignore you at parties.
        7. You have a hard time getting up in the morning.
        8. You no longer get off on cocaine.

SAGDEEV CALLED ON THE U.S. TO MAKE A RECIPROCAL GESTURE:

        In a recent speech in London, the irrepressible former head of the
Soviet Space Research Institute noted that the Soviet Government has offered
to convert its gigantic Krasnoyarsk radar in Siberia into an international
space research facility in response to U.S. complaints that the radar would
violate the ABM treaty.  Sagdeev suggested that the U.S. reciprocate by
turning the unfinished U.S. embassy in Moscow into a nuclear crisis reduction
center.  The communication system, he pointed out, is already in place.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
        You are optimistic and enthusiastic.  You have a reckless
        tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent.  The majority of
        Sagitarians are drunks or dope fiends or both.  People laugh at
        you a great deal.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
        Move slowly today, be deliberate.  Indications are for bleeding
        ulcers.  Drink milk.  Try not to be your usual offensive and
        obnoxious self.  Call your mother.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov.22 - Dec.21)
        Your efforts to help a little old lady cross a street will
        backfire when you learn that she was waiting for a bus.  Subdue
        impulse you have to push her out into traffic.

Said the attractive, cigar-smoking housewife to her girl-friend: "I
got started one night when George came home and found one burning in
the ashtray."

Sailing is fun, but scrubbing the decks is aardvark.
                -- Heard on Noahs' ark