Freebsd Fortunes 5

She was bred in ol' Kentucky
But she's just a crumb up here
She was knock-knee'd and double-jointed
With a cauliflower ear
Someday we will be married
And if vegetables become too dear
I'll just cut me a slice of
Her cauliflower ear!
                -- Curly Howard, "The Three Stooges"

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is
good at being short.
                -- Clive James, on Marilyn Monroe

She was only a moonshiner's daughter, but I love her still.

She was only a mortician's daughter but anyone cadaver.

She won' go Warp 7, Cap'n!  The batteries are dead!

Shedenhelm's Law:
        All trails have more uphill sections
        than they have downhill sections.

"Shelter", what a nice name for for a place where you polish your cat.

Sheriff Chameleotoptor sighed with an air of weary sadness, and then
turned to Doppelgutt and said 'The Senator must really have been on a
bender this time -- he left a party in Cleveland, Ohio, at 11:30 last
night, and they found his car this morning in the smokestack of a British
aircraft carrier in the Formosa Straits.'
                -- Grand Panjandrum's Special Award, 1985 Bulwer-Lytton
                   bad fiction contest.

Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken
him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him.  Such an excess of
stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.
                -- Samuel Johnson

Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken
him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him.  Such an excess
of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.
                -- Samuel Johnson