Freebsd Fortunes 5

Moe:    Wanna play poker tonight?
Joe:    I can't. It's the kids' night out.
Moe:    So?
Joe:    I gotta stay home with the nurse.

Moe:    What did you give your wife for Valentine's Day?
Joe:    The usual gift -- she ate my heart out.

Moebius always does it on the same side.

Mohandas K. Gandhi often changed his mind publicly.  An aide once asked him
how he could so freely contradict this week what he had said just last week.
The great man replied that it was because this week he knew better.

Moishe Margolies, who weighed all of 105 pounds and stood an even five feet
in his socks, was taking his first airplane trip. He took a seat next to a
hulking bruiser of a man who happened to be the heavyweight champion of
the world.  Little Moishe was uneasy enough before he even entered the plane,
but now the roar of the engines and the great height absolutely terrified him.
So frightened did he become that his stomach turned over and he threw up all
over the muscular giant siting beside him.  Fortunately, at least for Moishe,
the man was sound asleep.  But now the little man had another problem.  How in
the world would he ever explain the situation to the burly brute when he
awakened?  The sudden voice of the stewardess on the plane's intercom, finally
woke the bruiser, and Moishe, his heart in his mouth, rose to the occasion.
        "Feeling better now?" he asked solicitously.

MOLECULE:
        The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter.  It is distinguished from
        the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a
        closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit
        of matter...  The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and
        the atom in that it is an ion...

Mollison's Bureaucracy Hypothesis:
        If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review
        and be implemented it wasn't worth doing.

MOMENTUM:
        What you give a person when they are going away.

Mommy, what happens to your files when you die?

Mom's Law:
        When they finally do have to take you to the
        hospital, your underwear won't be clean or new.