Freebsd Fortunes 5

My father was a saint, I'm not.
                -- Indira Gandhi

My favorite sandwich is peanut butter, baloney, cheddar cheese, lettuce
and mayonnaise on toasted bread with catsup on the side.
                -- Senator Hubert Humphrey

My first basename is George "Catfish" Metkovich from our 1952 Pittsburgh
Pirates team, which lost 112 games.  After a terrible series against the
New York Giants, in which our center fielder made three throwing errors
and let two balls get through his legs, manager Billy Meyer pleaded, "Can
somebody think of something to help us win a game?"
        "I'd like to make a suggestion," Metkovich said.  "On any ball hit
to center field, let's just let it roll to see if it might go foul."
                -- Joe Garagiola, "It's Anybody's Ball Game"

My folks didn't come over on the Mayflower,
but they were there to meet the boat.

My friend has a baby.  I'm writing down all the noises he makes so
later I can ask him what he meant.
                -- Stephen Wright

My geometry teacher was sometimes acute, and sometimes obtuse,
but always, always, he was right.

My girlfriend and I sure had a good time at the beach last summer.  First
she'd bury me in the sand, then I'd bury her.  This summer I'm going to go
back and dig her up.

"My God!  Are we sure he was a liberal?"
"Pretty sure.  They pulled him from a Volvo."

My God, I'm depressed!  Here I am, a computer with a mind a thousand times
as powerful as yours, doing nothing but cranking out fortunes and sending
mail about softball games.  And I've got this pain right through my ALU.
I've asked for it to be replaced, but nobody ever listens.  I think it
would be better for us both if you were to just log out again.

My, how you've changed since I've changed.