Freebsd Fortunes 5
fortune: 541 - 550 of 2298 from freebsd fortunes 5
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Aug 21, 2017
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Freebsd Fortunes 5

Fortune: 541 - 550 of 2298 from Freebsd Fortunes 5

Freebsd Fortunes 5:  541 of 2298

My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii.
She sells C shells by the seashore.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  542 of 2298

My soul is crushed, my spirit sore
I do not like me anymore,
I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse,
I ponder on the narrow house
I shudder at the thought of men
I'm due to fall in love again.
                -- Dorothy Parker, "Enough Rope"
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  543 of 2298

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
                -- Christopher Morley
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  544 of 2298

My uncle was the town drunk -- and we lived in Chicago.
                -- George Gobel
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  545 of 2298

My way of joking is to tell the truth.
That's the funniest joke in the world.
                -- Muhammad Ali
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  546 of 2298

My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  547 of 2298

Mystics always hope that science will some day overtake them.
                -- Booth Tarkington
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  548 of 2298

mythology, n:
        The body of a primitive people's beliefs, concerning its origin,
        early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished
        from the true accounts which it invents later.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  549 of 2298

Naches (rhymes with Bach' us, with "Bach" pronounced like the composer)
is what every Jewish parent wants from their children, lots of good
returns, good grades, good spouse, good grandchildren.

So, now that you all understand naches, the joke:

Two Jewish women are sitting having coffee.
        "So, how's your daughter?"
        "Oh, Rachel!  She's fine, she just married a dentist!"
        "Really?  Isn't she the one that married the lawyer?"
        "Yes, that's my Rachel."
        "That's... that's nice.  But isn't she the same one that married
                the doctor?"
        "Yes, that's her!"
        "But didn't she marry a bank executive before that?"
        "Yes, yes!"
        "Ahhh.  So much naches from one child!"
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  550 of 2298

Nachman's Rule:
        When it comes to foreign food, the less authentic the better.
                -- Gerald Nachman
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