Freebsd Fortunes 5

Not only is this incomprehensible, but the ink is
ugly and the paper is from the wrong kind of tree.
                -- Professor, EECS, George Washington University

I'm looking forward to working with you on this next year.
                -- Professor, Harvard, on a  senior thesis.

Not only is UNIX dead, it's starting to smell really bad.
                -- Rob Pike

Not that we needed all that stuff, but when you get locked into a
serious drug collection the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
                -- Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.
                -- Spinoza

NOTE:  No warranties, either express or implied, are hereby given.
All software is supplied as is, without guarantee.  The user assumes
all responsibility for damages resulting from the use of these
features, including, but not limited to, frustration, disgust, system
abends, disk head-crashes, general malfeasance, floods, fires, shark
attack, nerve gas, locust infestation, cyclones, hurricanes, tsunamis,
local electromagnetic disruptions, hydraulic brake system failure,
invasion, hashing collisions, normal wear and tear of friction
surfaces, comic radiation, inadvertent destruction of sensitive
electronic components, windstorms, the Riders of Nazgul, infuriated
chickens, malfunctioning mechanical or electrical sexual devices,
premature activation of the distant early warning system, peasant
uprisings, halitosis, artillery bombardment, explosions, cave-ins,
and/or frogs falling from the sky.

Note to myself: use real bullets next time.

Notes for a ballet, "The Spell:"  ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the
flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ...
Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part
woman -- unfortunately, divided lengthwise.  She enchants Sigmund, who
is careful not to make any poultry jokes...
                -- Woody Allen

Notes for a ballet, "The Spell": ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of
wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is
astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman --
unfortunately, divided lengthwise.  She enchants Sigmund, who is careful
not to make any poultry jokes.
                -- Woody Allen

Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing can be done in one trip.
                -- Snider