Freebsd Fortunes 5

Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the
repairman arrives.

macho, adj.:
        Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Macho does not prove mucho.
                -- Zsa Zsa Gabor

MAD:
        Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child --
if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
                -- W.C. Fields

Madison's Inquiry:
        If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class?

Madness takes its toll.

Magary's Principle:
        When there is a public outcry to cut deadwood and fat from any
        government bureaucracy, it is the deadwood and the fat that do
        the cutting, and the public's services are cut.

Magic is always the best solution -- especially reliable magic.

Magnet, n.:  Something acted upon by magnetism.

Magnetism, n.:  Something acting upon a magnet.

The two preceding definitions are condensed from the works of one
thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a
great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.