Freebsd Fortunes 5

Now is the time for all good men to come to.
                -- Walt Kelly

Now is the time for drinking;
now the time to beat the earth with unfettered foot.
                -- Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)

Now it's time to say goodbye
To all our company...
M-I-C   (see you next week!)
K-E-Y   (Why?  Because we LIKE you!)
M-O-U-S-E.

Now of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It leaves me only fifty more.

And since to look at things in bloom
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
To see the cherry hung with snow.
                -- A.E. Housman

Now that day wearies me,
My yearning desire
Will receive more kindly,
Like a tired child, the starry night.

Hands, leave off your deeds,
Mind, forget all thoughts;
All of my forces
Yearn only to sink into sleep.

And my soul, unguarded,
Would soar on widespread wings,
To live in night's magical sphere
More profoundly, more variously.
                -- Hermann Hesse, "Going to Sleep"

Now that you've read Fortune's diet truths, you'll be prepared the next time
some housewife or boutique owner turned diet expert appears on TV to plug
her latest book.  And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for eating coffee
cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself the following questions:

1: Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a food?
2: Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich
        exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me?
3: Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as prescribed...
        without French-fried onion rings, pizza with double cheese, or the
        occasional Mai-Tai?  (Remember, living right doesn't really make
        you live longer, it just *seems* like longer.)

That, and another piece of coffee cake, should do the trick.

Now the Lord God planted a garden East of Whittier in a place called
Yorba Linda, and out of the ground he made to grow orange trees that
were good for food and the fruits thereof he labeled SUNKIST...

Now there's a violent movie titled, "The Croquet Homicide,"
or "Murder With Mallets Aforethought."
                -- Shelby Friedman, WSJ.

Now there's three things you can do in a baseball game:
you can win or you can lose or it can rain.
                -- Casey Stengel

Now you're ready for the actual shopping.  Your goal should be to get it
over with as quickly as possible, because the longer you stay in the mall,
the longer your children will have to listen to holiday songs on the mall
public-address system, and many of these songs can damage children
emotionally.  For example: "Frosty the Snowman" is about a snowman who
befriends some children, plays with them until they learn to love him, then
melts.  And "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is about a young reindeer who,
because of a physical deformity, is treated as an outcast by the other
reindeer.  Then along comes good, old Santa.  Does he ignore the deformity?
Does he look past Rudolph's nose and respect Rudolph for the sensitive
reindeer he is underneath?  No.  Santa asks Rudolph to guide his sleigh, as
if Rudolph were nothing more than some kind of headlight with legs and a
tail.  So unless you want your children exposed to this kind of insensitivity,
you should shop quickly.
                -- Dave Barry