Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday January 19, 2016

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

When all else fails, pour a pint of Guinness in the gas tank,...
When all else fails, pour a pint of Guinness in the gas tank, advance the spark 20 degrees, cry "God Save the Queen!", and pull the starter knob. -- MG "Series MGA" Workshop Manual

Q: What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night? A: ...
Q: What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night? A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog.