Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday January 29, 2016

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for...
A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. She blew her vagina To South Carolina, And her tits landed somewhere in Dallas. A cute friend of hers, Fanny Hill, Used two dynamite sticks for a dil. They...

A graduate student named Zac Was said to be great in the sack...
A graduate student named Zac Was said to be great in the sack. An inch of his boner Put girls in a coma And two gave them epileptic attacks.

A happy old hooker named Grace Once sponsored a cunt-lapping...
A happy old hooker named Grace Once sponsored a cunt-lapping race. It was hard for beginners To tell who were winners : There were cunt hairs all over the place.

A lusty young maid from Seattle Got pleasure by sleeping with...
A lusty young maid from Seattle Got pleasure by sleeping with cattle; Till she found a bull Who filled her so full It made both her ovaries rattle.

A mathematician named Hall Had a hexhedronical ball, ...
A mathematician named Hall Had a hexhedronical ball, And the square of its weight Times his pecker's, plus eight, Was four-fifths of five-eighths of fuck-all.

A potter who lived in Bombay Once fashioned a cunt out...
A potter who lived in Bombay Once fashioned a cunt out of clay; But the heat of his prick Kilned the damn thing to brick And chafed all his foreskin away.

There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on...
There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on a tandem. At the peak of the make She jammed on the brake And scattered his semen at random.

There was a young miss from Johore Who'd lie on a mat on...
There was a young miss from Johore Who'd lie on a mat on the floor; In a manner uncanny She'd wobble her fanny, And drain your nuts dry to the core.

When all else fails, pour a pint of Guinness in the gas tank,...
When all else fails, pour a pint of Guinness in the gas tank, advance the spark 20 degrees, cry "God Save the Queen!", and pull the starter knob. -- MG "Series MGA" Workshop Manual