Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday January 24, 2016

(1) Everything depends. (2) Nothing is always. (3) Everything...
(1) Everything depends. (2) Nothing is always. (3) Everything is sometimes.

Why not have an old-fashioned Christmas for your family this...
Why not have an old-fashioned Christmas for your family this year? Just picture the scene in your living room on Christmas morning as your children open their old-fashioned presents. Your 11-year-old son: "What the heck is this?" You: ...

Accept people for what they are -- completely unacceptable.
Accept people for what they are -- completely unacceptable.

A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than...
A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Enough food for a week. I'm darned if I know how the helican.

There was a young man from Racine Who invented a fucking...
There was a young man from Racine Who invented a fucking machine. Concave or convex, It served either sex, But oh what a bitch to keep clean.