Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday January 6, 2016

There was a young lad name of Durcan Who was always jerkin'...
There was a young lad name of Durcan Who was always jerkin' his gherkin. His father said, "Durcan! Stop jerkin' your gherkin! Your gherkin's for ferkin', not jerkin'.

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There was a young lad named McFee Who was stung in the balls...
There was a young lad named McFee Who was stung in the balls by a bee He made oodles of money By oozing pure honey Every time he attempted to pee.

[War] is instinctive. But the instinct can be fought. We're...
[War] is instinctive. But the instinct can be fought. We're human beings with the blood of a million savage years on our hands! But we can stop it. We can admit that we're killers ... but we're not going to kill today. That's all it takes! Knowing...

My godda bless, never I see sucha people. --...
My godda bless, never I see sucha people. -- Signor Piozzi, quoted by Cecilia Thrale

Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.