Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday January 15, 2016

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

There was a young harlot named Schwartz Whose cock-pit...
There was a young harlot named Schwartz Whose cock-pit was studded with warts, And they tickled so nice She drew a high price From the studs at the summer resorts. Her pimp, a young fellow named Biddle, Was seldom hard up for a diddle, ...

The default Magic Word, "Abracadabra", actually is...
The default Magic Word, "Abracadabra", actually is a corruption of the Hebrew phrase "ha-Bracha dab'ra" which means "pronounce the blessing".

Nothing is ever a total loss; it can always serve as a...
Nothing is ever a total loss; it can always serve as a bad example.

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get...
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in. -- H.R. Haldeman