Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday January 23, 2016

Auribus teneo lupum. [I hold a wolf by the ears.]
Auribus teneo lupum. [I hold a wolf by the ears.]

A busy young lady named Gloria Was had by Sir Gerald...
A busy young lady named Gloria Was had by Sir Gerald du Maurier And then by six men, Sir Gerald again, And the band at the Waldorf-Astoria.

A cabin boy on an old clipper Grew steadily flipper...
A cabin boy on an old clipper Grew steadily flipper and flipper. He plugged up his ass With fragments of glass And thus circumcised his old skipper.

A certain young person of Ghent, Uncertain if lady or gent, ...
A certain young person of Ghent, Uncertain if lady or gent, Shows his organs at large For a small handling charge To assist him in paying the rent.

A certain young sheik of Algiers Said to his harem, "My...
A certain young sheik of Algiers Said to his harem, "My dears, Though you may think it odd of me, I'm tired of just sodomy Let's try straight fucking." (loud cheers!)

A romantic attraction has clung To a chap of whom damsels have...
A romantic attraction has clung To a chap of whom damsels have sung: "'Tis the Scourge from the East, That lascivious beast Who was known as Attila the Hung!"

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young man from Lynn Whose cock was the size of...
There was a young man from Lynn Whose cock was the size of a pin. Said his girl with a laugh As she felt his staff, "This won't be much of a sin."

Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind...
Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Since next Thursday will be Good Friday, There will be a fathers' meeting, for mothers only. Wear your best clothes, if you don't have any,...