Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday December 17, 2016

I'm going to live forever, or die trying! --...
I'm going to live forever, or die trying! -- Spider Robinson

It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate...
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people. -- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ...
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. -- Wernher von Braun

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved...
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled...
There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled kerosene But she started absorbin' A new hydrocarbon And since then has never benzene.

There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew...
There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser. It at last grew so small, He knew nothing at all, And now he's a College Professor.