Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday December 18, 2016

There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when...
There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when I say, That in spite of high station, Rank and education, She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

Cigarette, n.: A fire at one end, a fool at the other,...
Cigarette, n.: A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.

A CS student named Lin Had a prick the size of a pin...
A CS student named Lin Had a prick the size of a pin It was no good for girls But just great for squirrels Who squealed with delight with it in.

A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach...
A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach the divine: He wore a hair shirt, Quite often ate dirt, And bathed every Friday in brine. -- Edward Gorey

There once was a plumber from Leigh Who was plumbing his maid...
There once was a plumber from Leigh Who was plumbing his maid by the sea. Said she, "Please stop plumbing, I think someone's coming!" Said he, "Yes, I know love, it's me."

There was a young man from Rangoon Who used to lament 'neath...
There was a young man from Rangoon Who used to lament 'neath the moon That he had the luck To be born of a fuck That was scraped off the sheets with a spoon.

... I see TOILET SEATS ...
... I see TOILET SEATS ...

Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that...
Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays. -- Robert Parker, quoted...