Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday April 1, 2017

DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive...
DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?! Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system? You can! Just mail to "fortune" with the fortune you hate most, and we MIGHT make sure it gets expunged.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there...
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. -- Franklin P. Jones

Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.
Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.