Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday July 11, 2017

"I'm willing to sacrifice anything for this cause, even...
"I'm willing to sacrifice anything for this cause, even other people's lives"

A young girl once committed suicide because her mother refused...
A young girl once committed suicide because her mother refused her a new bonnet. Coroner's verdict: "Death from excessive spunk." -- Sacramento Daily Union, September 13, 1860

At the moment Japan declared war A sailor was fucking a whore...
At the moment Japan declared war A sailor was fucking a whore. He said, "After this poke `Long and hard' ain't no joke; This means months 'til I get back ashore."

There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl...
There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl by the sea. She said, "Stop your plumbing, There's somebody coming" Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."

The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Gives us ham and pork...
The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Gives us ham and pork and Bacon. Let others think his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig. -- Ogden Nash