Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday June 3, 2018

JACK AND THE BEANSTACK by Mark...
JACK AND THE BEANSTACK by Mark Isaak Long ago, in a finite state far away, there lived a JOVIAL character named Jack. Jack and his relations were poor. Often their hash table was bare. One day Jack's parent said...

Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.

There once was a lady named Carter, Fell in love with a virile...
There once was a lady named Carter, Fell in love with a virile young Tartar. She stripped off his pants, At his prick quickly glanced, And cried: "For that I'll be a martyr!"

There was a young harlot from Kew Who filled her vagina with...
There was a young harlot from Kew Who filled her vagina with glue. She said with a grin, "If they pay to get in, They'll pay to get out of it too."

There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning...
There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning to screw, But he hadn't the knack, And he got too far back -- In the right church, but in the wrong pew.

Jacek, a Polish schoolboy, is told by his teacher that...
Jacek, a Polish schoolboy, is told by his teacher that he has been chosen to carry the Polish flag in the May Day parade. "Why me?" whines the boy. "Three years ago I carried the flag when Brezhnev was the Secretary; then...