Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday April 13, 2022

There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled...
There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled kerosene But she started absorbin' A new hydrocarbon And since then has never benzene.

There was a young lady named Bower Who dwelt in an Ivory...
There was a young lady named Bower Who dwelt in an Ivory Tower. But a poet from Perth Laid her flat on the earth, And proceeded with penis to plough her.

Candy Is dandy But liquor Is quicker. -- Ogden...
Candy Is dandy But liquor Is quicker. -- Ogden Nash, "Reflections on Ice-Breaking" Fortune updates the great quotes: #53. Candy is dandy; but liquor is quicker, and sex won't rot your teeth.