Freebsd Fortunes 3

Asynchronous inputs are at the root of our race problems.
                -- D. Winker and F. Prosser

At about 2500 A.D., humankind discovers a computer problem that *must* be
solved.  The only difficulty is that the problem is NP complete and will
take thousands of years even with the latest optical biologic technology
available.  The best computer scientists sit down to think up some solution.
In great dismay, one of the C.S. people tells her husband about it.  There
is only one solution, he says.  Remember physics 103, Modern Physics, general
relativity and all.  She replies, "What does that have to do with solving
a computer problem?"
        "Remember the twin paradox?"
        After a few minutes, she says, "I could put the computer on a very
fast machine and the computer would have just a few minutes to calculate but
that is the exact opposite of what we want... Of course!  Leave the
computer here, and accelerate the earth!"
        The problem was so important that they did exactly that.  When
the earth came back, they were presented with the answer:

        IEH032 Error in JOB Control Card.

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all
my soul.  At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my
ignorance upon the shore.
                -- Kahlil Gibran

At first sight, the idea of any rules or principles being superimposed on
the creative mind seems more likely to hinder than to help, but this is
quite untrue in practice.  Disciplined thinking focuses inspiration rather
than blinkers it.
                -- G.L. Glegg, "The Design of Design"

At Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers,
a managerial challenge roughly comparable to herding cats.
                -- "The Washington Post Magazine", June 9, 1985

At last I've found the girl of my dreams.  Last night she said to me,
"Once more, Strange, and this time *I'll* be Donnie and *you* be Marie.
                -- Strange de Jim

At least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand.
                -- J.B. White

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his
thumb with a hammer.
                -- Marshall Lumsden

At once it struck me what quality went to form a man of achievement,
especially in literature, and which Shakespeare possessed so enormously
-- I mean negative capability, that is, when a man is capable of being
in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching
after fact and reason.
                -- John Keats

At social gatherings, I would amuse everyone by standing uponst the
coffee table and striking meself repeatedly upon the head with a brick.
                -- H.R. Gumby