Freebsd Fortunes 3

GUILLOTINE:
        A French chopping center.

Gumperson's Law:
        The probability of a given event
        occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Guns don't kill people.  Bullets kill people.

Gunter's Airborne Discoveries:
        (1)  When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft,
             the aircraft will encounter turbulence.
        (2)  The strength of the turbulence
             is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.

GURMLISH:
        The red warning flag at the top of a club sandwich which prevents
        the person from biting into it and puncturing the roof of his mouth.
                -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends

gurmlish, n.:
        The red warning flag at the top of a club sandwich which
        prevents the person from biting into it and puncturing the roof
        of his mouth.
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

GURU:
        A person in T-shirt and sandals who took an elevator ride with
        a senior vice-president and is ultimately responsible for the
        phone call you are about to receive from your boss.

guru, n:
        A computer owner who can read the manual.

gy-ro-scope:
        A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also
        free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular to
        each other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the
        two mutually perpendicular axes results from application of
        torque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the
        entire apparatus offers considerable opposition depending on
        the angular momentum to any torque that would change the direction
        of the axis of spin.
                -- Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary

hacker, n:
        Originally, any person with a knack for coercing stubborn inanimate
things; hence, a person with a happy knack, later contracted by the mythical
philosopher Frisbee Frobenius to the common usage, 'hack'.
        In olden times, upon completion of some particularly atrocious body
of coding that happened to work well, culpable programmers would gather in
a small circle around a first edition of Knuth's Best Volume I by candlelight,
and proceed to get very drunk while sporadically rending the following ditty:

                Hacker's Fight Song

                He's a Hack!  He's a Hack!
                He's a guy with the happy knack!
                Never bungles, never shirks,
                Always gets his stuff to work!

All take a drink (important!)