Freebsd Fortunes 3

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had
a complete set.
                -- Ring Lardner

He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land.  He loved it so much he
made a woman out of dirt and married her.  But when he kissed her, she
disintegrated.  Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to
dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them.  At his hanging, he
told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven -- with a gun."
                -- Jack Handey

He was part of my dream, of course --
but then I was part of his dream too.
                -- Lewis Carroll

He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

He was the sort of person whose personality
would be greatly improved by a terminal illness.

He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.

He who attacks the fundamentals of the American
broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.
                -- William S. Paley, chairman of CBS

He who dares the wrong, acts right, that's how it happens!
                -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for
the human condition is a fool.
                -- Albert Camus