Freebsd Fortunes 3

Avoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight.

Avoid Quiet and Placid persons unless you are in Need of Sleep.

Avoid reality at all costs.

Avoid revolution or expect to get shot.  Mother and I will grieve, but
we will gladly buy a dinner for the National Guardsman who shot you.
                -- Dr. Paul Williamson, father of a Kent State student

Avoid strange women and temporary variables.

Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining
ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror
to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the
mid-fork of the Feather River before the completion of the Oroville Dam
in 1959.
                -- Grand Panjandrum's Special Award, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton
                   bad fiction contest.

[Babe] Ruth made a big mistake when he gave up pitching.
                -- Tris Speaker, 1921

BACCHUS:
        A convenient deity invented by the ancients
        as an excuse for getting drunk.

BACHELOR:
        A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

BACHELOR:
        A man who chases women and never Mrs. one.