Freebsd Fortunes 3

Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining
ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror
to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the
mid-fork of the Feather River before the completion of the Oroville Dam
in 1959.
                -- Grand Panjandrum's Special Award, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton
                   bad fiction contest.

[Babe] Ruth made a big mistake when he gave up pitching.
                -- Tris Speaker, 1921

BACCHUS:
        A convenient deity invented by the ancients
        as an excuse for getting drunk.

BACHELOR:
        A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

BACHELOR:
        A man who chases women and never Mrs. one.

Back in '80 or '81 the workers were rioting in Gdansk and there were fears
that the Soviets would invade Poland to put down the demonstrations.  Foreign
correspondents were curious as to just what the Poles would do if they were
invaded.  They asked, "What will you do if the East Germans invade from the
West and the Soviets invade from the East?  Who will you fight first?"
        To which the Poles replied, "Why, we will fight the Germans first.
Business before pleasure."

Back in the early 60's, touch tone phones only had 10 buttons.  Some
military versions had 16, while the 12 button jobs were used only by people
who had "diva" (digital inquiry, voice answerback) systems -- mainly banks.
Since in those days, only Western Electric  made "data sets" (modems) the
problems of terminology were all Bell System.  We used to struggle with
written descriptions of dial pads that were unfamiliar to most people
(most phones were rotary then.)  Partly in jest, some AT&T engineering
types (there was no marketing in the good old days, which is why they were
the good old days) made up the term "octalthorpe" (note spelling) to denote
the "pound sign."  Presumably because it has 8 points sticking out.  It
never really caught on.

Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere,
uphill both ways and it was always snowing.

BACKWARD CONDITIONING:
        Putting saliva in a dog's mouth in an attempt to make a bell ring.

Bacons not the only thing that's cured by hanging from a string.