Freebsd Fortunes 3

Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long
walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh.  They
then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy
health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old,
not because of their habits, but in spite of them.  The reason we find
only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the
others who have tried it.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the
most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion.  A judge of the Court of
Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which
reads, "In the Nuts (unground), (other than ground nuts) Order, the expression
nuts shall have reference to such nuts, other than ground nuts, as would
but for this amending Order not qualify as nuts (unground) (other than ground
nuts) by reason of their being nuts (unground)."
                -- Guiness Book of World Records, 1973

Certainly the game is rigged.
Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.
                -- Robert Heinlein, "Time Enough For Love"

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy,
But it's very funny --
did you ever try buying them without money?
                -- Ogden Nash

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre!

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas l'Informatique.
                -- Bosquet [on seeing the IBM 4341]

CF&C stole it, fair and square.
                -- Tim Hahn

Chairman of the Bored.

Chamberlain's Laws:
        1: The big guys always win.
        2: Everything tastes more or less like chicken.

Champagne don't make me lazy.  Cocaine don't drive me crazy.
Ain't nobody's business but my own.
                -- Taj Mahal