Freebsd Fortunes 3

checkuary, n:
        The thirteenth month of the year.  Begins New Year's Day and ends
        when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks.

Cheer Up!  Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

Cheese -- milk's leap toward immortality.
                -- Clifton Fadiman, "Any Number Can Play"

Chef, n:
        Any cook who swears in French.

Cheit's Lament:
        If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you--
        the next time he's in need.

CHEMICALS:
        Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.

Chemist who falls in acid is absorbed in work.

Chemist who falls in acid will be tripping for weeks.

Chemistry professors never die, they just fail to react.

Cheops' Law:
        Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.