Freebsd Fortunes 3

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.
                -- George Bernard Shaw

Christmas time is here, by Golly;       Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens;
Disapproval would be folly;             Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens;
Deck the halls with hunks of holly;     Even though the prospect sickens,
Fill the cup and don't say when...      Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas day, you can't get sore;   Relations sparing no expense'll,
Your fellow man you must adore;         Send some useless old utensil,
There's time to rob him all the more,   Or a matching pen and pencil,
The other three hundred and sixty-four! Just the thing I need... how nice.

It doesn't matter how sincere           Hark The Herald-Tribune sings,
It is, nor how heartfelt the spirit;    Advertising wondrous things.
Sentiment will not endear it;           God Rest Ye Merry Merchants,
What's important is... the price.       May you make the Yuletide pay.
                                        Angels We Have Heard On High,
Let the raucous sleighbells jingle;     Tell us to go out and buy.
Hail our dear old friend, Kris Kringle, Sooooo...
Driving his reindeer across the sky,
Don't stand underneath when they fly by!
                -- Tom Lehrer

Churchill's Commentary on Man:
        Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
        but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.

CIGARETTE:
        A fire at one end, a fool at the other,
        and a bit of tobacco in between.

CINEMUCK:
        The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate
        which covers the floors of movie theaters.
                -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends

Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.
                -- Herodotus

Civilization and profits go hand in hand.
                -- Calvin Coolidge

Civilization, as we know it, will end sometime this evening.
See SYSNOTE tomorrow for more information.

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
                -- Mark Twain

clairvoyant, n.:
        A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that
which is invisible to her patron -- namely, that he is a blockhead.
                -- Ambrose Bierce