Freebsd Fortunes 3

CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
        This is a good time for those of you who are rich and happy,
        but a poor time for those of you born under this sign who are
        poor and unhappy.  To tell you the truth, any day is tough
        when you're poor and unhappy.

Canonical, adj.:
        The usual or standard state or manner of something.  A true story:
One Bob Sjoberg, new at the MIT AI Lab, expressed some annoyance at the use
of jargon.  Over his loud objections, we made a point of using jargon as
much as possible in his presence, and eventually it began to sink in.
Finally, in one conversation, he used the word "canonical" in jargon-like
fashion without thinking.
        Steele: "Aha!  We've finally got you talking jargon too!"
        Stallman: "What did he say?"
        Steele: "He just used `canonical' in the canonical way."

Can't act.  Slightly bald.  Also dances.
                -- RKO executive, reacting to Fred Astaire's screen test.
                   Cerf/Navasky, "The Experts Speak"

Can't open /usr/fortunes.  Lid stuck on cookie jar.

Can't open /usr/games/lib/fortunes.dat.

Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men, for
the nastiest of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all.
                -- John Maynard Keynes

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
        Play your hunches.  This is a day when luck will play an important
        part in your life.  If you were smarter, you wouldn't need so much
        luck and you wouldn't be reading your horoscope, either.  You are
        a suspicious person, and it will occur to you that astrologers
        don't know what they're talking about any more than your Aunt Martha.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)
        Follow your instincts.  You are much too scatterbrained to do anything
        else, such as think.  Romance is in the air, but not for you, so forget
        it.  That pimple on the end of your nose will get worse.

CAPRICORN (Dec 23 - Jan 19)
        You are conservative and afraid of taking risks.  You don't do
        much of anything and are lazy.  There has never been a Capricorn
        of any importance.  Capricorns should avoid standing still for
        too long as they tend to take root and become trees.

Captain Penny's Law:
        You can fool all of the people some of the time, and
        some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.