Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday March 19, 2014

A middle-aged codger named Bruin Found his love life completely...
A middle-aged codger named Bruin Found his love life completely in ruin, For he flirted with flirts Wearing pants and no skirts, And he never got in for no screwin'.

To a weepy young woman in Thrums Her betrothed remarked,...
To a weepy young woman in Thrums Her betrothed remarked, "This is what comes Of allowing your tears To fall into my ears - I think they have rotted the drums." -- Edward Gorey

Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.
Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.

Any father who thinks he's all important should remind himself...
Any father who thinks he's all important should remind himself that this country honors fathers only one day a year while pickles get a whole week.

Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind...
Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Since next Thursday will be Good Friday, There will be a fathers' meeting, for mothers only. Wear your best clothes, if you don't have any,...