Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday March 31, 2014

A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect...
A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.

There was a young man named Knute Who had warts all over...
There was a young man named Knute Who had warts all over his root. He put acid on these And now when he pees, He fingers the thing like a flute.

There was a young man of Khartoum, The strength of whose balls...
There was a young man of Khartoum, The strength of whose balls was his doom. So strong was his shootin', The third law of Newton Propelled the poor chap to the Moon.

There was a young man of Madras Whose balls were constructed...
There was a young man of Madras Whose balls were constructed of brass. When jangled together They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young man, name of Fred, Who spent every Thursday...
There was a young man, name of Fred, Who spent every Thursday in bed; He lay with his feet Outside of the sheet, And the pillows on top of his head. -- Edward Gorey

There was a young poet named Dan, Whose poetry never would...
There was a young poet named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He said, "Yes, I know, It's because I try to put every possible syllable into that last line that I can."

There was a young sailor from Brighton, Who remarked to...
There was a young sailor from Brighton, Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one." She replied, "'Pon my soul, You're in the wrong hole; There's plenty of room in the right one."