Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday March 8, 2014

No self-made man ever did such a good job that some woman...
No self-made man ever did such a good job that some woman didn't want to make some alterations. -- Kim Hubbard

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The goddam thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

A middle-aged codger named Bruin Found his love life completely...
A middle-aged codger named Bruin Found his love life completely in ruin, For he flirted with flirts Wearing pants and no skirts, And he never got in for no screwin'.

A pretty young boy known as Kevin Was raped in a pasture...
A pretty young boy known as Kevin Was raped in a pasture by seven Lascivious beasts (Oh, those Anglican priests) And such is the Kingdom of Heaven.

There once was a maid from Mobile Whose cunt was made of blue...
There once was a maid from Mobile Whose cunt was made of blue steel. She only got thrills From pneumatic drills And an off-centered emery wheel.