Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday March 25, 2014

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

There was a young man from Stamboul Who boasted so torrid...
There was a young man from Stamboul Who boasted so torrid a tool That each female crater Explored by this satyr Seemed almost unpleasantly cool.

*** A NEW KIND OF PROGRAMMING *** Do you want the instant...
*** A NEW KIND OF PROGRAMMING *** Do you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical terms that nobody understands? Do you want to strike fear and loathing into the hearts of DP managers everywhere? If so, then let the Famous...

A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him...
A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish the program on which he was working. "I will be finished tomorrow," the programmer promptly replied. "I think you are being unrealistic," said the manager...

"Yo, Mike!" "Yeah, Gabe?" ...
"Yo, Mike!" "Yeah, Gabe?" "We got a problem down on Earth. In Utah." "I thought you fixed that last century!" "No, no, not that. Someone's found a security problem in...