Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday February 21, 2017

"For three days after death hair and fingernails continue...
"For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off." -- Johnny Carson

"I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a...
"I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show, which would be called `A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark'." -- Dave Barry, "The Wonders of Sharks on TV"

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't...
Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Never tell a lie unless it is absolutely convenient.
Never tell a lie unless it is absolutely convenient.