Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday March 15, 2018

Psychotherapy is the theory that the patient will probably...
Psychotherapy is the theory that the patient will probably get well anyhow and is certainly a damn fool. -- H. L. Mencken

"How'd you get that flat?" "Ran over...
"How'd you get that flat?" "Ran over a bottle." "Didn't you see it?" "Damn kid had it under his coat."

Hard Copies and Chmod And everyone thinks computers...
Hard Copies and Chmod And everyone thinks computers are impersonal cold diskdrives hardware monitors user-hostile software of course they're only bits and bytes and characters and strings and files just some old textfiles from my old boyfriend telling...

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who screwed every...
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who screwed every man that she kissed with. She tickled the balls Of the men in the halls, And pulled on the prongs that they pissed with.

There was a young girl of Moline Whose fucking was sweet...
There was a young girl of Moline Whose fucking was sweet and obscene. She would work on a prick With every known trick, And finish by winking it clean.

There was a young girl of Penzance Who boarded a bus in...
There was a young girl of Penzance Who boarded a bus in a trance. The passengers fucked her, Likewise the conductor, While the driver shot off in his pants.

There was a young girl of Spitzbergen, Whose people all thought...
There was a young girl of Spitzbergen, Whose people all thought her a virgin, Till they found her in bed With her twat very red, And the head of a kid just emergin'.

There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat,...
There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat. T'was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding When she found there's no tit for Tat.

There was a young lady from Bristol Who went to the Palace...
There was a young lady from Bristol Who went to the Palace called Crystal. Said she, "It's all glass, And as round as my ass," And she farted as loud as a pistol.

There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different sizes. One was so small, It was nothing at all; The other took numerous prizes.