Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday March 11, 2018

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life...
I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death? -- St. Augustine

A fellatrix's healthful condition Proved the value of spunk...
A fellatrix's healthful condition Proved the value of spunk as nutrition. Her remarkable diet (I suggest that you try it) Was only her clients' emission.

A passionate red-haired girl When you kissed her, her senses...
A passionate red-haired girl When you kissed her, her senses would whirl, And her twat would get wet, And would wiggle and fret, And her cunt-lips would curl and unfurl.

There once was a whore from Regina Who had a stupendous...
There once was a whore from Regina Who had a stupendous vagina. To save herself time, She had six at a time, And another one working behind her.

There was a young girl of Penzance Who boarded a bus in...
There was a young girl of Penzance Who boarded a bus in a trance. The passengers fucked her, Likewise the conductor, While the driver shot off in his pants.

There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what...
There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what it meant When men asked her to dine, And plied her with wine, She knew, oh she knew -- but she went!

There was a young lady who said, As her bridegroom got into...
There was a young lady who said, As her bridegroom got into the bed, "I'm tired of this stunt, That they do with one's cunt, You can get up my bottom instead."

There was a young man named Laplace Whose balls were made...
There was a young man named Laplace Whose balls were made out of spun glass. When they banged together They played "Stormy Weather" And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young man of Australia Who went on a wild...
There was a young man of Australia Who went on a wild bacchanalia. He buggered a frog, Two mice and a dog, And a bishop in fullest regalia.

There was a young man of Calcutta, Who tried to write...
There was a young man of Calcutta, Who tried to write "cunt" on a shutter. When he got to c-u, A pious Hindoo Knocked him ass-over-head in the gutter.

There was a young man of Khartoum Who lured a poor girl to...
There was a young man of Khartoum Who lured a poor girl to her doom. He not only fucked her, But buggered and sucked her-- And left her to pay for the room.

There was a young man of Kildare Who was fucking a girl on...
There was a young man of Kildare Who was fucking a girl on the stair. The bannister broke, But he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air.

There was a young man of Saskatchewan, Whose penis was truly...
There was a young man of Saskatchewan, Whose penis was truly gargantuan. It was good for large whores, And for small dinosaurs, And was rough enough to scratch a match upon.

There's a dowager near Sweden Landing Whose manners are odd...
There's a dowager near Sweden Landing Whose manners are odd and demanding. It's one of her jests To suck off her guests -- She hates to keep gentlemen standing.