Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday October 13, 2020

A lad of the brainier kind Had erogenous zones in his mind...
A lad of the brainier kind Had erogenous zones in his mind. He got his sensations, By solving equations, (Of course, in the end, he went blind.)

A petulant man once said, "Pish, Your cunt is as big as...
A petulant man once said, "Pish, Your cunt is as big as a dish." She replied, "Why, you fool, With your limp little tool, It's like driving a pin with a fish."

A pious old woman named Tweak Had taught her vagina to speak...
A pious old woman named Tweak Had taught her vagina to speak. It was frequently liable To quote from the Bible, But when fucking -- not even a squeak!

There was a young fellow named Price Who dabbled in all sorts...
There was a young fellow named Price Who dabbled in all sorts of vice. He had virgins and boys And mechanical toys, And on Mondays... he meddled with mice!

There was a young girl of Detroit Who at fucking was very...
There was a young girl of Detroit Who at fucking was very adroit: She could squeeze her vagina To a pin-point, or finer, Or open it out like a quoit. And she had a friend named Durand Whose cock could contract or expand. He could...

There was a young lad name of Ward Who strung himself up with...
There was a young lad name of Ward Who strung himself up with a cord Said he, of his work (Ere the rope snapped with a jerk) "I am leaving because I am bored." - E.A. Guest

There were three young ladies of Birmingham, And this is...
There were three young ladies of Birmingham, And this is the scandal concerning 'em. They lifted the frock And tickled the cock Of the Bishop engaged in confirming 'em. Now, the Bishop was nobody's fool, He'd been to a good public...