Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday October 16, 2020

The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper...
The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper bag; The reason, you will see, no doubt, Is to keep the lightning out. But what these unobservant birds Have failed to notice is that herds Of bears may come with buns And steal the bags to hold...

When arguments fail, use a blackjack. --...
When arguments fail, use a blackjack. -- Ed "Spike" O'Donnell

A young woman got married at Chester, Her mother she kissed...
A young woman got married at Chester, Her mother she kissed her and blessed her. Says she, "You're in luck, He's a stunning good fuck, For I've had him myself down in Leicester."

There once was a Swede in Minneapolis, Discovered his sex life...
There once was a Swede in Minneapolis, Discovered his sex life was hapless: The more he would screw The more he'd want to, And he feared he would soon be quite sapless.

There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different sizes. His tool when at ease, Hung down to his knees, Oh, what must it be when it rises!

There was a young poet named Dan, Whose poetry never would...
There was a young poet named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He said, "Yes, I know, It's because I try to put every possible syllable into that last line that I can."

You will be awarded some great honor.
You will be awarded some great honor.