Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday April 12, 2020

A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece...
A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard.

A debugged program is one for which you have not yet found...
A debugged program is one for which you have not yet found the conditions that make it fail. -- Jerry Ogdin

A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he...
A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating his morning meal. "I would like to give you this personality test", said the outsider, "because I want you to be happy." Drescher took the paper that...

Oh, give me a locus where the gravitons focus Where...
Oh, give me a locus where the gravitons focus Where the three-body problem is solved, Where the microwaves play down at three degrees K, And the cold virus never evolved. (chorus) We eat algea pie, our vacuum...

A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what...
A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on...
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. -- Samuel Goldwyn

American business long ago gave up on demanding that...
American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room without...

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going...
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary...
When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they...
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.