Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday April 25, 2020

A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for...
A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits were in Dallas.

There once was a fencer named Fisk, Whose speed was incredibly...
There once was a fencer named Fisk, Whose speed was incredibly brisk. So fast was his action, The Fitzgerald contraction, Foreshortended his foil to a disk.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

The shortest distance between two points is under...
The shortest distance between two points is under construction. -- Noelie Alito