Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday April 13, 2020

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for...
A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. She blew her vagina To South Carolina, And her tits landed somewhere in Dallas. A cute friend of hers, Fanny Hill, Used two dynamite sticks for a dil. They...

A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on...
A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on a molehill. A curious mole Nosed into her hole -- Ms. Vogel's okay, but the mole's ill.

There once was a fellow named Howard, Whose tool it...
There once was a fellow named Howard, Whose tool it was nuclear-powered, While grabbing some ass, He reached critical mass, But think of the girl he deflowered!

There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long...
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it. But he looked in the glass, And saw his own ass, And broke his neck trying to fuck it.

There's a charming young girl in Tobruk Who refers to her quiff...
There's a charming young girl in Tobruk Who refers to her quiff as a nook. It's deep and it's wide, -- You can curl up inside With a nice easy chair and a book.

There are times when truth is stranger than fiction and lunch...
There are times when truth is stranger than fiction and lunch time is one of them.