Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday July 23, 2021

Buzz off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes Of hateful soreness,...
Buzz off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes Of hateful soreness, purge mine ears of corn; Less dear than army ants in apple pies Art thou, old prune-face, with thy chestnuts worn, Dropt from thy peeling lips like lousy fruit; Like honeybees upon...

A mathematician named Hall Had a hexhedronical ball, ...
A mathematician named Hall Had a hexhedronical ball, And the square of its weight Times his pecker's, plus eight, Was four-fifths of five-eighths of fuck-all.

A nervous young fellow named Fred Took a charming young widow...
A nervous young fellow named Fred Took a charming young widow to bed. When he'd diddled a while She remarked with a smile, "You've got it all in but the head."

There once was a woman from Arden Who sucked off a man in...
There once was a woman from Arden Who sucked off a man in a garden. He said, "My dear Flo, Where does all that stuff go?" And she said, "[Swallow hard] I beg pardon?"

There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different sizes. One was so small, It was nothing at all; The other took numerous prizes.

There was an old lady of Kewry Whose cunt was a `lusus...
There was an old lady of Kewry Whose cunt was a `lusus naturae': The `introitus vaginae', Was unnaturally tiny, And the thought of it filled her with fury.