Freebsd Fortunes

Buzz off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
Of hateful soreness, purge mine ears of corn;
Less dear than army ants in apple pies
Art thou, old prune-face, with thy chestnuts worn,
Dropt from thy peeling lips like lousy fruit;
Like honeybees upon the perfum'd rose
They suck, and like the double-breasted suit
Are out of date; therefore, Banana Nose,
Go fly a kite, thy welcome's overstayed;
And stem the produce of thy waspish wits:
Thy logick, like thy locks, is disarrayed;
Thy cheer, like thy complexion, is the pits.
Be off, I say; go bug somebody new,
Scram, beat it, get thee hence, and nuts to you.

By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task
completely overwhelm you.

"By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote.  In fact,
it is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to
invent. (R. Emerson)"
                -- Quoted from a fortune cookie program
                   (whose author claims, "Actually, stealing IS easier.")
                   [to which I reply, "You think it's easy for me to
                   misconstrue all these misquotations?!?"]

"By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began
to suspect 'Hungry' ..."
                -- Gary Larson, "The Far Side"

By trying, we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's, I
mean.
                -- Mark Twain

Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to
point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very
fast.  People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are
often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people
from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B
that so many people from point A are so keen to get there.  They often
wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell
they wanted to be.
                -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

C, n.:
        A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more
like assembly except that it isn't very much like either one, or
anything else.  It is either the best language available to the art
today, or it isn't.
                -- Ray Simard

Cabbage, n.:
        A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as
a man's head.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception."
                -- The mayor of Tucson, Arizona, 1989

Cahn's Axiom:
        When all else fails, read the instructions.