Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday June 7, 2022

Since I hurt my pendulum My life is all erratic. My parrot,...
Since I hurt my pendulum My life is all erratic. My parrot, who was cordial, Is now transmitting static. The carpet died, a palm collapsed, The cat keeps doing poo. The only thing that keeps me sane Is talking to my shoe. -- My Shoe

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There was a young fellow name Tucker Who, instructing a novice...
There was a young fellow name Tucker Who, instructing a novice cock-sucker, Said, "Don't bow out your lips Like an elephant's hips, The boys like it best when they pucker."

There was a young man from Boston Who rode around in...
There was a young man from Boston Who rode around in an Austin. There was room for his ass And a gallon of gas, But his balls hung out and he lost 'em.