Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday July 27, 2022

A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in...
A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was diddling a collie- But I got a nice price for the pups."

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to...
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to the mill to get grist with. The miller's sun, Jack, Laid her flat on her back, And united the organs they pissed with.

There was a young girl of Cape Cod Who dreamt she'd been...
There was a young girl of Cape Cod Who dreamt she'd been buggered by God. But it wasn't Jehovah That turned the girl over, 'Twas Roger the lodger, the dirty old codger, the bugger, the bastard, the sod!

186,282 miles per second: It isn't just a good idea,...
186,282 miles per second: It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!

Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer? A: Throw him...
Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer? A: Throw him a rock.

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in...
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Five. One to screw in the lightbulb and four to share the experience. (Actually, Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in...